Perfer et Obdura; Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim

This year is a struggle for many if not all Volunteers. It's especially hard for those who have a mental illness. Those like me.

I suffer from anxiety and depression and this past week has been tough. I've had several crying sessions. I have been glued to my bed with depression. Anxiety has whispered and told me lies. It's been hard. It's not recommended to changed medications throughout the YAV year, but here I am, about to start new medication.

Through these times, it's hard to get out of the present. But what keeps me going is that I always have something to look forward to. God has blessed me with friends, family, and opportunities. Like with Job, God took away everything. Job stayed strong and knew better things were coming. Jesus also suffered, but had something better to look forward to.

I am blessed to have so many people support me in my journey with mental illness. Whenever I "can't" or I feel like giving up, friends and family (and now my Volunteer family) come in and help me however they can. I am blessed that even though my anxiety and depression tell me so, I AM NOT ALONE. There are others out there who face the same/similar challenges and there are people who love me and want the best for me

When I was diagnosed with depression three years ago this month, I found life hard. Impossible. But then I found a quote that I now live by.

Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim.

It translates to "Suffer and endure; one day this sadness will be useful to you." It's from Ovid (I really love Latin). This quote reminds me that no matter the lows I go through, God has so many blessings lined up ahead of me. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

This video is a song from the Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen. This is one of the songs I listen to, to lift my spirit and combat the darkness crashing through.

One of my anxieties this year is talking about money. I still need to raise money for my year. If you can, please donate by clicking on this link https://www.handsandfeetavl.org/donate. If you do an online donation, don't forget to put my name so they know whose account to put it in.

A Community Within A Community

So today I want to talk about where we live. The Young Adult Volunteers at the Asheville site have the privilege of living in...

A retirement community.

"What?" some of you might say. But it is true. Housing is expensive in Asheville. As the center/downtown gets more gentrified, the higher the prices of housing goes up. It is nearly impossible to house six young adults in Asheville without breaking the bank. Which is where Brooks-Howell stepped in.

Brooks-Howell is a retirement community founded in 1975 by the United Methodist Women for retired deaconesses and missionaries. There are about 30 residents who live here. Their mission lines up with our mission, and so they were excited to have young people around to help and befriend the residents.

The six of us live in two 2-bedroom apartments. We get one free meal a week in the dining room. Whenever we're not working at our non-profits, we work with the residents about 5 hours a week. We attend Sunday school every Saturday and we are welcome to do activities with them if our free time lets us. We are living the life.

I wasn't afraid to move into a retirement community; I was excited! When we were told about Brooks-Howell at the beginning of August, I was like YESSSSSSS!!!!! My stepmom has worked in retirement communities for years and we have stayed at a few while traveling. It's great. We get to learn from the residents and they can learn from us. These residents are bada$$. They were missionaries. They traveled the world, spreading the word of God. They know what we are going through, adapting to a new community, job, and simple living. Also, because they don't get to leave campus often, we get to bring them activities, smiles, and love to all who are home bound and whose families aren't nearby.

At the end of the week, it's hard though to keep working. We're exhausted from our nonprofits and it's hard to see the long term of what we're doing. But yesterday reminded me why its worth it.

In the afternoon, another volunteer and I were downstairs in one of the open areas (dining room/living room/gathering area, etc.) talking to a resident while we colored and she was watching the baseball game. A CNA rolled up Margaret, asking if we were going to be there for a while and if we could make sure she didn't get up. We said yes and she left. Margaret is old, nonverbal, and probably not all there. She looked up at me from her chair, reached over and held my hand. She soon switched hands and grabbed my other hand, so we were both holding each others hands. She then lifted up our right hands to her face, "kissed" my hand, and then put them up to her cheek to prop her head up. She leaned toward me. I laid my head on top of hers. We sat there like that for about 30 minutes. I teared up.

It was hard peeling myself away when it was time to go. She had an iron grip when she wanted to. That moment, that is what makes this year worth it. To give love and touch to those who are forgotten, who people don't see as people anymore.

More about Brooks-Howell:   https://brooks-howell.org
Donate to my year of service: http://www.handsandfeetavl.org/donate/